Cure for bird flu

So we are selling our microwave on the gumtree (the only url you need to know as an antipodean in London) and the most bizarre man comes to buy it. As soon as he opened his mouth, I knew, here's trouble. Because he sounded exactly like my uncle. And knowing my uncle, I knew this guy would fight tooth and nail for a couple of quid. So he comes up with this elaborate story (OK I say story, it could possibly be the truth, but somehow I wasn't buying it) of how he was buying this microwave for a charity in Edinburgh (possibly because M is scottish? who knows?) who needed a microwave. First question, uh why buy a £15 microwave from london and take it to edinburgh. Second question, wouldn't it make sense to buy it over there? Third question, (mind I didnt ask any of these questions) what exactly is the name of this so-called charity? Anyway we agreed on the price, cos he was so insistent and just so we could get rid of him, and he seemed really pleased.

Then for the next round of bizarrenes. He brought our attention to a weird electronic contraption he was wearing around his neck. He said it was an ion diffuser. Basically it emitted ions around your face so you wouldnt pick up any germs while on the tube and in public. Hm, right. He was keen to show that since the diffuser was blowing air it proved that indeed it was producing uh 'ions'. Yes, right, couldn't possibly just be hot air? In fact, and let me quote him here "it is one of the only devices approved by a 'top scientist' that will prevent bird flu". He tried to convince us to buy one, but we politely refused, so he left us a card, in case you know, we realised our dire mistake, and while in the later stages of bird flu, while on our last breaths, we realise what fools we had been to not accept the life saving ion diffuser he'd so kindly offered to sell us and thank our lucky stars we still had his number... hm, yeah. Let me quote from his card: "Breathing Air is a necessity. Breathing "FreshAir" is a choice". Wise words, indeed.

He then asked to use our phone to make a local call, because he didnt have a mobile. Only later did we remember that he'd been calling us from his mobile to get directions to our house from the bus stop. Maybe he uh, accidentally-purposely-forgot he had a phone - making me further question the legitimacy of his charity story. Secondly, he was trying to get someone to help him pick up the microwave from our place, because he didnt want to take it on the tube, yet the next week he was taking it to edinburgh on the train?

Ah well, at least he bought the microwave, and now we know there is some sort of salvation for bird flu, just who knew it would come in the form of a whole lot of hot air?