River whales and cyclops kittens

There's a whale swimming up the Thames today. First time thats ever happened in history. It was trying to beach itself around Battersea, where I first lived when I moved to London. If I was there I'd go see it. I felt so sorry for it, splashing its tail around and all this blood in the murky brown water. They think its hurt. I have an affinity with whales, one day I hope to swim with one. If thats not weird enough I then saw this photo. Is it just the beginning of the year craziness? Or is this the beginning of something a lot more sinister? Aliens attacking perhaps?.... hmmmmm Think about that one....