Funny Spam

These two letters made me wonder, who/what exactly did they use to translate what must've originally been written in a foreign language

Sir/Madam,
Your current situation has been shown to the specific parties, and upon meticulous contemplation, we are able to extend to you the next opportunity.

Based upon meticulous contemplation you meet the criteria to attain a abundant revenue on your initial property investment.

By completing the next attached form in a timely manner we will be able to conclude our evaluation, and we feel firm you will attain not only a reduced rate of interest, but also a cash return that will accomplish all your holiday needs and more!

Please go here to conclude this juncture of the settlement.

With sincerest regards,

Alyssa Golden

Dear Alyssa, I am intrigued and privileged by the meticulous contemplation you have bestowed upon my slovenly being. I shall henceforth respond herewith with the utmost haste in concluding with great forethought this juncture of settlement, henceforth forewith yours incontinently...

And straight after that my mate Darrel emailed me about this exciting offer:

Sir/Madam,
Your portfolio has been reviewed to the specific committees, and upon prudent forethought, we are able to submit to you the ensuing opportunity.

Based upon prudent forethought you meet the criteria to get a princely earnings on your first property investment.

By completing the ensuing attached form in a timely manner we will be able to settle our assessment, and we feel firm you will get not only a reduced rate of interest, but also a cash return that will realize all your holiday needs and more!

Please go here to settle this period of the contract.

Hoping on the best for you all.

Darrel Call

Dear Darrel, the prudent forethought you have offered me has spurred me to hencewith instigate the receiving of the port of communication which shall enable us complete in a timely manner the matters required to obtain a princely monetary return.

These spam emails highlight two obvious points:

1) I obviously don't get enough email from actual friends so I now have to resort to opening junk mail... *sigh* sad but true... No wonder I'm so angry
2) Babelfish is great in theory but perhaps not so good in practice. Eg De beste Heer/Mevrouw thou hast voortaan bewezen aan mij dat thou veel teveel tijd op thy handen heeft.